Someone needs to explain this one to me: Why is the word FART so F-ing offensive?
What I don’t understand is why people- women in particular- get so damned offended whenever they hear the word "fart." We live in a society where on broadcast television, during the day, people talk about orgasms, viagra, and use a plethora of profanities like sh*t, f***, motherf*****, etc. Why are these words okay, but "fart" isn’t?
I find this all doubly odd, since public bathrooms barely conceal people while they expel bodily wastes. Stall doors don’t go from floor to ceiling, meaning not only will you hear the echoes of your neighbor's gas, but soon, its malodorous mass will come billowing, unseen by human eyes, into your area, then down your windpipe and into your lungs. That’s even more disgusting than the idea that the fork I used at a sit-down restaurant, was in someone else's mouth less than an hour previously. I don't see people protesting about how unhygenic public restrooms are- so why are some so aghast at a simple word?
Aside from the sheer grotesqueness of the the fact you are breathing air that passed through another person’s digestive system and anus, what is really so bad about farting- sorry, "passing gas"? Everybody does it.
Your mom and dad? They did it.
The President? He does it.
The Pope? He does it.
I’d wager even our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ passed gas a few times in his life.
The point is, it’s a natural biological function, like urinating, defecating, shedding dead skin cells, or accumulating dried mucous in your sinuses. Yeah, we humans are disgusting. At least we don’t swim in our own bodily waste, like fish.
True, I don’t want to hear your fart- unless the sound waves have passed through the protective shell of my spacesuit and I am ensconced in my own little atmosphere. Butt, really, I am not going to be offended by the mere word "fart".
And for all you idiots that think your toots don’t stink, don’t get your panties in a knot the next time you hear the word "fart." Something far worse could be assailing your ears- and windpipe!
What an awesome coincidence- the quote of the day from the Prez is “that wasn’t me!”
Hey, maobama! The smeller’s the feller!
That’s what I call class…or is it gas?
You see Trog, you and I intrinsically disagree here. You “claim” that you don’t want to hear the gaseous fricatives of another’s anus, but I am here to tell you that many a man has been entertained by nature’s comodiously oraficious music.
A revelation was revealed to me in my youth. That is, flatulence is a gift from God. Every young man has a story of “trapping” his mates in an enclosed area, and secretly expelling his “agent brown” on the unsuspecting casualties of war. Self-satisfaction is the only word that can describe the overwhelming feeling after such a “top-secret” deployment.
But, you know, there is more. God gave us gas, that we may entertain each other and even ourselves. I cannot hear one person, myself included, make colonic music without me smiling. I once wondered why it never ceases to be humorous, and I, again, had it revealed to me. It is this: “Every fart is like a snowflake. There are no two alike. Each is a special creation of nature…of God.”
I’d rather leave all farts behind me.
Shall I then tell you Trog, I don’t wish to be one of your followers.
I couldn’t bear it…
The quote of the day every day from the Prez is, “That wasn’t me.” He can’t even take responsibility for his own flatulence. What a pansy.
I just wish I had Ron’s way with words. hehehe. And have some bologna with that.