Often, when I am at a store or driving on the road, I wonder, "What are all these people around me doing here?"

Take Target, for example.

Me and my family go to Target every other Wednesday to buy paper towels, fill prescriptions and get other sundry household goods. The store doesn't seem too busy… Just a few people here and there.

Anyway, this past weekend I needed something for the kids and dashed out to the store…on a Saturday…during the afternoon.

Holy crap! It was like a scene from "Dawn of the Dead" (the original, not that crappy remake). There were people everywhere, milling around in typical zombie-shopper fashion, chanting "Bargains! Bargains!" I could almost hear the "Ommmmmmmm" as they roboted slowly along.

When I finally got out of the store and began to drive home, I noticed the sheer number of cars on the road. Where were all these people going? I, then, began to notice many of them were just coasting along, slowly. Quite different from the morning and afternoon rush hours during the week when people pilot their cars with elite disregard for traffic laws.

And then there's my wife's friend. She's always got something planned for her and her four kids. Every day they go somewhere–a park, a zoo, some attraction somewhere. They're forever going, going, going, and it doesn't stop on the weekend. Then there's this pal of mine who's always lamenting how just once he'd like to stay at home on the weekend, instead of going to multiple kid ballgames, a restaurant, a relative's and maybe a park or two.

Did I mention they have a pool?

If I had a big, inground pool, I would never leave home. I think I'd have my groceries delivered. I would have no need of the zoo, or parks…or other people's houses.

What is with all you folks today who run and run and run? Whatever happened to staying at home?

When I was a kid we had four tv channels. Cable was for the select few. Air conditioning came from a window unit, if you were lucky. And we stayed home all the time–bored out of our damned minds.

With hundreds of channels via satellite or cable, the internet, video games, DVDs, central air and home delivery of everything except cheeseburgers, why do you people need to go anywhere? You can't possibly be bored.

Think of the money you're pissing away on all that gasoline. The time you waste getting ready to go, to walk from parking space to destination and back again. Why are you all so adamant to get out and see the world?

If you do have to get out, please do me a favor and walk or drive a little faster. You may want to shuffle along like the undead, but I have things to do. Stay home, drive faster or get out of my way.