Recently, I was all excited about the meatariffic chicken sandwich KFC was offering: the Double Down.
Well, I finally got around to purchasing one, and I have to say it was a disappointing experience.
First off, the KFC we went to has some kind of eastern European-designed entry/exit lanes. I had to drive past, turn around, and try to enter a second time.
Then, when I placed my order, a zombie answered…
"Maaaaaaayyyy….. I…. take…. yorrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr…. orrrrrrr-derrrrrr."
This kid had apparently just broken up with his girlfriend, had his dog shot, wrecked his car and suddenly realized he was going nowhere in life past the prestigious duty of drive thru order-taker. Corpses have more enthusiasm.
So, I ordered anyway- specifically ordering TWO, that's TWO, also known as the sum of 1+1, half of FOUR, and the cube root of EIGHT, Double Downs, with no sauce. That's right, no sauce. Sauce is like perfume- you put it on food to hide it tastes like dirt. Like perfume covers up body odor.
Anyways, I get home, and- where's the second Double Down? It's not in the bag. My poor Double Down is all alone. No fellow sandwich to share the bag with. Single. Solo. Alone.
Checked my receipt- yep, I was charged $9.98 for TWO Double Downs. What the hell? I know a lot of kids these days working in fast food have no real aspirations to do anything, but DAMN. I thought they could at least count to TWO.
Well, no since fuming right that darned second- my food was getting cold. Time to open the little KFC box and- WHAT THE HELL? Were they playing volleyball with my Double Down? Did the cook vomit the pieces together? My Double down was thrown into the box with less care than a newspaper. The pepperjack cheese was everywhere except on the Double Down. Grrr.
Cheese abuse is a hangin' offense in my house…
Okay, so I sat down to eat. And it was downright terrible.
Now, I don't mean terrible like I wanted to hurl. I mean terrible like a huge let down. A Double Let Down. The Colonel's secret herbs and spices original recipe on two chicken breasts with almost-crunchy bacon. Whoop-dee-double-doo. All that hype for this?
So I called customer service- I want my $4.80 refund, byotches. I'll eat the other $4.80, and chalk it up as an experience. But dammit, I paid for food I didn't get, and that's a bunch of double doo-doo. Much like the Double Down.
Overall rating: Double Droppings Down for this "sandwich" from KFC. If the Colonel was still alive, he would be demoted to Sgt. for this. Lame. If I want a breadless sandwich, I'll go to Chick-Fila and remove the bun by hand.
And you should too.
I never eat there any more. They’ve gone the way of the greazy spoon, Trog. I do like Culvers though. Good food, nice clean atmosphere, and the help is courteous, efficient, and friendly. It’s a bit pricey. But I don’t mind paying a little extra for quality food served by people who at least act like they appreciate my business. Five stars!