By Chad Phillips
MTW contributing writer

According to The New York Times yesterday, a rash of maintenance issues has caused many oil refineries to cut production this year, elevating the price of gas. And I thought it was all because of "millionaire Mike Sodrel and his rich oil buddies." It's hard to believe so many voters fell for this line back in 2006 when the Baron Von Hill was using it to aid in changing his job title.

Of course, since Hill got elected the price of gas has continued to climb, begging the question, "Does Congressman Hill also have rich oil buddies?"

Perhaps this is some kind of evil trick employed by the ousted Sodrel as retribution for Hill blowing the whistle on him about the oil buddies and all. Apparently, Sodrel has more power since he left office than when he was in, since he can manipulate the price of gas though his oil cartel at will.

And while raising the price of gas ends up making Sodrel's trucking company lose money, it's a small price to pay for embarrassing the effervescent and always obsequious Hill.

Excuse me a moment; I'm getting all misty imagining the final scene from Mr. Smith Goes To Washington. But instead of Claude Rains having an attack of morality and confessing that he helped frame a political enemy to further his own career, it's Hill who confesses, "I did it! I lied when I used my flair for innuendo to mislead the fickle, forgetful, and flaky masses to believe that Mike Sodrel was responsible for the soaring price of gasoline! Ooooooh the shame of it all! It is Sodrel who should be sitting here, not me! I confess the error of my ways. And to show that I'm sincere in my confession (as a sign of good faith) I am leaving office, never to return again! I would like to add that I am very sorry and extremely remorseful for supporting Roe v. Wade, for not supporting a federal marriage amendment, for supporting the raising of the minimum wage, for doing everything in my power to dramatically increase the size of government, for being deliberately evasive and acerbic when those who I consider beneath me have asked me legitimate questions, for verbally abusing those poor folks at that church in my home town after I lost to Sodrel the first time, and for stepping on all the little people along the way. May God have mercy on my soul."

Well, I can dream can't I?