Okay, someone please explain to me what the big deal is about Roger Clemens using steroids.

No wait; better yet, please explain to me why it’s a big deal Clemens used drugs, but it isn’t that Osama Barama Bananafana Barack did?

I just don’t get it. Clemens used illegal steroids to build muscle mass, that he could have gotten without the drugs. Then that muscle mass enabled him to do better in baseball.

B-Osama used illegal drugs to make himself feel better.

Both fellers used illegal drugs. Now, I will give B-O credit; unlike the majority of Donkeycrats, he admits his drug use. And that only makes sense. Drug use is no big whoop to most donkeycrats. But then neither is alcoholism or cheating on one’s wife. And the list goes on and on…

I suppose if Clemens had injected himself with something that made him run faster, hit harder or stay awake longer right before a game, that might make me concerned. But aren’t growth steroids just a way to save time at the gym? They don’t make you stronger for a short time, like a shot of adrenalin, do they?

And good grief, it’s BASEBALL. It’s not like he was supporting a dealer on the street- that his money was going to the criminal element, thereby fueling an ongoing trade in guns, drugs, sex and violence. He was using a growth hormone administered illegally. I don’t think he was in a crack house, shooting up with hormones one minute and then pumping iron the next. He was probably in a gym. And I somehow doubt the drugs came from some Columbian who smuggled them into the country with a speedboat or low flying plane. I doubt the growth hormones came across the border in some mule’s stomach.

I see a huge difference with this issue.

For one, Clemens is just some ballplayer. B-O is running for president. Why isn’t Congress having hearings on his drug use?

Oh, wait. Now I know. Clemens is a Republican, and (gasp) a friend of President Bush.

Well, by all means, let’s string him up by his artificially enhanced pecs. I mean, how can we sully the sport of Baseball with such an atrocity? The use of such illegal drugs might inspire impressionable children to try other drugs.

Like crack.

They might even grow up and run for president one day, you know.