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SEPTEMBER is CHICKocide month!

Holy Chickpeas, Batman! September is National Chicken Month!

Show your clucking pride in this staple American food by devouring one of the juicy little bastards EACH AND EVERY DAY!

For example, my family dined on the King of Chicken, Chick Fila tonight! Chicken sandwhiches! Chicken Nuggets! Chicken Strips! Why, our family of four was indirectly responsible for the death of 4 innocent chickens tonight alone!

How you ask? One chicken produces only 2 breasts. We had four sandwhiches (4 breasts) a 3 piece of strips and a 12 count of nuggets. That's at least 4 chicken breasts right there! Take that PETA!

What? How can you eat chicken every day for a month? Not a problem! Me and the kids figured it out on the way home as the delicious scent of all that bird wafted in the car:

Chicken Noodle Soup
Chicken and Rice Soup
Chicken and Dumplings
Chicken Rice
Chicken Nuggets
Chicken McNuggets
KFC
Burger King's Chicken Fries
Popeye's spicy chicken
Chicken Strips
Chicken Tenders
Chicken fingers
Chicken Patties
Popcorn Chicken
Chicken Kiev
Shake and Baked Chicken
Home Made Fried Chicken
Chicken Parmesan
BBQ chicken
teriyaki Chicken
Hot Wings
Grilled Chicken
Oven-roasted Chicken
Grilled Chicken Salad
Subway Chicken Sandwich
Sliced Chicken Coldcuts

And don't forget the baby Chickens, mwuhahahahahaha:

Scrambled Eggs
Eggs over Easy
Eggs Sunnyside Up
Omelettes
Boiled Eggs
Poached Eggs
Deviled Eggs
Powdered Eggs
Chicken Salad

WHEW! That's a lot of chicken! So do your part! Don't beak afraid! EET MORE CHIKIN'!

 
THOR’S DAY RANT: It’s Effin BAD Science!

There's this new show on the G4 channel, and I'm going to have to go all Phil Plait on it's ass for a moment.

The show is called "It's Effin Science" and it's been advertised very widely on my satellite service provider, Dish Network. They try and give it a Mythbusters look, with "cool", "hip" sciencey nerds blowing things up, etc. My kids and I love Mythbusters, so I finally watched part of an episode the other Effin night.

Awful. So awful, in fact, I am compelled to warn people that watching this show will actually reduce your intelligence.

First off, one of the science nerds "built" spy glasses with a mini digital camera in them, recording to a mini SDCard. Oh, so cool…

And I can get one for under $50 at www.meritline.com. They've had these devices for several years now. www.thinkgeek.com carries them too…

Next up, a science nerd built a radio control car with a pan and tilt camera that wirelessly transmits to the base station. He used it to patrol a house to find the other science nerd, who was hiding under a bed. Wow. How exciting. Not exciting enough for me to go to Target and buy a pre-made car like this, though.

Oh, and when I say built, I'm not talking about an Adam Savage-like sequence where science nerds injure themselves welding or make clever jokes while scavenging parts. I mean they presented an item to the camera and claimed to have built it.

But the final Effin' straw for me came between segments, when they asked viewers what would kill you first in a vacuum: Cold, Radiation or explosive decompression? Their answer was explosive decompression. Yeah, maybe on Star Trek. Or Futurama.

What would actually kill you is your lungs rupturing- and this is assuming you jumped out the hatch, holding your breath. Human bodies WOULD NOT explode in a vacuum. Don't believe me?

The only redeeming thing that Effin' Science has going for it is that one of the nerds is Chad Zdenek, from G4′s Human Wrecking Balls. I don't like Chad, but seeing him reminds me of the awesomeness of Human Wrecking Balls. Good memories there.

My final spin on Effin Science?

Effin avoid it.

 
Representation without Taxation?

Ay, carumba. What was that Court thinking?

Let me begin by saying, this isn't a brown-white thing. I don't hate Mexicans. Unless they're being stupid. Or not paying their taxes. Or committing crimes.

Why, just this morning, I say a van broke down in the middle of the street. The young man driving it was doing his best to push it to the side of the road, but cars kept driving around him. Not a damn one of them stopping to help. I stopped, asked if he needed help. The young man turned out to be hispanic. And he barely spoke english. If I was truly race-biased, I'd have driven on, like the a**holes I watched go by. But no, I stopped, got out, and helped this kid push his van across the street to a parking lot.

No, my issue with all the illegals is taxes. They don't pay them.

Let me tell you a little story. A tale of how a band of people crossed the border with their neighboring country, without permission. How they fed off the land, stole from the citizens of this neighboring country and refused to pay taxes, or contribute in any way. The people in this neighboring country didn't like it. They rebelled against the invaders, some of whom killed them. The invadees' government didn't protect them- they rolled over to the invaders, giving in to demands and handing over their nation's riches.

I'm of course talking about the Nazis and the French.

The Nazi Wehrmacht crossed into France in May 1940, cleverly sneaking around the ginormous Maginot Line the French had belt to keep them out. In case you're wondering, the Maginot Line was a massive wall of fortifications built along the French-German border precisely to keep the Germans out. But the Nazis just went around it.

Once inside France, the Nazis quickly defeated the French forces, then began to steal from the French citizens. Nazi soldiers took what they wanted; food, women, physical property. The French Government didn't organize a rebellion, they caved in and adopted socialism, and fell right into step with Hitler. Meanwhile, French citizens who didn't like having what little their government hadn't taxed being stolen by the invaders, formed a resistance. They fought back.

The United States faces a similar, if less organized, threat to the south. Illegal immigrants are pouring through gaps in our border and stealing from us. They don't come in and become citizens and pay taxes. They sneak in and become freeloaders. Using our roads, without paying taxes to upkeep them. Putting kids in our schools, without paying taxes to keep up the schools or hire more teachers. They are a burden on our society. Spanish-speaking bums.

If someone snuck into your home while you were at work, and set up residence in your basement and started eating your food, watching your TV, running the air conditioner you normally kept off during the day and otherwise running up your utilities, would you let them stay? Or would you call the police to have them thrown out?

Why then is it so bad for Arizona to want to get rid of illegals? Last I checked, the United States still has a citizenship process where anyone can come and go through the process to become a citizen. We aren't saying we don't want any hispanics here. We just want them to come here legally and start paying their fair share.

The United States was founded when a bunch of angry people in New England decided that paying taxes but having no real say in their destiny sucked. They called it "taxation without representation". They set forth a precedent that if you want our tax money, you have to give us something in return. The flip side of the that should be a cornerstone of our nation as well: if you want to live here, and get services, your lazy ass needs to pay taxes. Why should the color of your skin exclude you from taxation?

Coming to this country and taking, taking, taking… why that's no better than being a Nazi. Just ask the French.