Category: Features
SEPTEMBER is CHICKocide month!

Holy Chickpeas, Batman! September is National Chicken Month!

Show your clucking pride in this staple American food by devouring one of the juicy little bastards EACH AND EVERY DAY!

For example, my family dined on the King of Chicken, Chick Fila tonight! Chicken sandwhiches! Chicken Nuggets! Chicken Strips! Why, our family of four was indirectly responsible for the death of 4 innocent chickens tonight alone!

How you ask? One chicken produces only 2 breasts. We had four sandwhiches (4 breasts) a 3 piece of strips and a 12 count of nuggets. That's at least 4 chicken breasts right there! Take that PETA!

What? How can you eat chicken every day for a month? Not a problem! Me and the kids figured it out on the way home as the delicious scent of all that bird wafted in the car:

Chicken Noodle Soup
Chicken and Rice Soup
Chicken and Dumplings
Chicken Rice
Chicken Nuggets
Chicken McNuggets
KFC
Burger King's Chicken Fries
Popeye's spicy chicken
Chicken Strips
Chicken Tenders
Chicken fingers
Chicken Patties
Popcorn Chicken
Chicken Kiev
Shake and Baked Chicken
Home Made Fried Chicken
Chicken Parmesan
BBQ chicken
teriyaki Chicken
Hot Wings
Grilled Chicken
Oven-roasted Chicken
Grilled Chicken Salad
Subway Chicken Sandwich
Sliced Chicken Coldcuts

And don't forget the baby Chickens, mwuhahahahahaha:

Scrambled Eggs
Eggs over Easy
Eggs Sunnyside Up
Omelettes
Boiled Eggs
Poached Eggs
Deviled Eggs
Powdered Eggs
Chicken Salad

WHEW! That's a lot of chicken! So do your part! Don't beak afraid! EET MORE CHIKIN'!

 
Imam Feisel’s indecent proposal: the Ground Zero Mosque

Unless you live in a cave (and are not a terrorist) you already have heard about what has come to be called the Ground Zero Mosque. If you don't know what the flap is about, click the previous embedded link and read the article before continuing further.

I have refrained from commenting about the issue, here, until now, mostly because new information kept coming to light and I wanted to give this thing a balanced treatment.  In general, I think most folks are quite confused about the mosque on both sides of the debate.

For example I keep hearing conservatives saying that that the Cordoba Initiative has no legal right to build this mosque in the proposed location. I've also heard liberals parroting the mantra of the imam (Feisel Abdul Rauf) who is behind this proposed structure, in saying that the building "is not a mosque; this is a cultural center."

So what's the big deal? Does Rauf have a legal right to renovate this structure so close to Ground Zero? Is it really just a community center and nothing more? Let's start with the legal challenges.

First, contrary to popular belief, Rauf and his organization have every right to build a mosque here. They're on solid footing with the Bill of Rights, guaranteeing the freedom to practice their religion and they're on fertile ground from a real estate and property law point of view. So conservatives, please stop spewing the completely inaccurate blather that these Muslims and their organization have no legal right to build (or renovate) a structure at or near Ground Zero. They do. Kindly, get your facts straight or shut your pieholes…please.

Second, concerning the claim that this structure won't be a mosque: Rauf and his liberal allies get around the whole mosque problem by continually mouthing the words, cultural+community+center and not elaborating on the fact that this building will contain a mosque. Technically, the entire structure won't be a mosque, sure. But a mosque will be there and I highly doubt you'll see any Jews or Christians in there holding worship services. So from a certain point of view (the technical point of view) Rauf and his liberal allies are telling the truth when they say the structure won't be a mosque…technically. It all depends on your frame of reference…or rather, how you word things.

But here's another item which makes no sense: If there's no mosque, then why hide behind the Bill of Rights, Imam Feisel? If there's no mosque, then Muslim's won't be practicing their religion on the site will they? And if that's the case, then there's no infringement on the right to practice one's religion…so the whole freedom of religion thing isn't even applicable. After all, it's not a mosque; it's a "cultural center." (wink, wink…nod, nod)

That said, it has been stated that the "center" is meant to help foster an environment of peace, healing, interfaith relations, and better understanding between Muslims and the West, that it will exist to serve the community at large, meaning both Muslims and non-Muslims. If that's true, then why doesn't Rauf's proposal for this center include, a church, a Jewish synagogue, and perhaps, offices for the Council for Secular Humanism?

Moreover, if you were trying to reach out to Americans and show them that Islam is really about peace and fostering better understanding, why would you bend over backwards to bloody the noses of so many people in the process? Think about it; 70 percent of the country is against his proposal to put a mosque…(ahem) I mean "cultural center" on the GZ site and a majority of New Yorkers are against it as well. Yet, he is insisting on it. He is demanding it, in spite of the pain and outrage Americans are feeling at his proposal to build this thing so close to GZ.

Whatever Rauf's intentions with this structure, there's one thing we can be sure of: This isn't a matter of religious freedom. He could put this mosque anywhere he pleases (and he is doing just that). Rather, the issue is should he put it in the proposed location, given the circumstances? You see, it's a matter of propriety, of decency, of good manners. Just because some person, corporate or organizational entity has the right to do something, doesn't mean they should. The legality of a proposition isn't directly proportional to the morality of a proposition. I refuse to believe that a man as intelligent as Rauf doesn't understand this concept. And knowing this, what is Rauf's response?  Why, to move ahead with his indecent proposal, of course, and to refuse any discussion of other alternatives. And while from a legal standpoint I have no problem with his proposal, I find it troubling and offensive in the extreme that  Rauf and his organization could be so callous and insensitive to the ramifications of putting a new mosque on this site. I also find it insulting that he would actually claim to be trying to foster an environment of reconciliation, when his actions are doing just the opposite. I fail to see how driving a stake through the heart of this nation will help Rauf to achieve his stated goals. Instead, it will serve to inflame and further alienate the very people he claims he wants to reach out to. The whole damned excursion just smells bad. It smacks of duplicity and I don't buy it.

 
THOR’S DAY RANT: It’s Effin BAD Science!

There's this new show on the G4 channel, and I'm going to have to go all Phil Plait on it's ass for a moment.

The show is called "It's Effin Science" and it's been advertised very widely on my satellite service provider, Dish Network. They try and give it a Mythbusters look, with "cool", "hip" sciencey nerds blowing things up, etc. My kids and I love Mythbusters, so I finally watched part of an episode the other Effin night.

Awful. So awful, in fact, I am compelled to warn people that watching this show will actually reduce your intelligence.

First off, one of the science nerds "built" spy glasses with a mini digital camera in them, recording to a mini SDCard. Oh, so cool…

And I can get one for under $50 at www.meritline.com. They've had these devices for several years now. www.thinkgeek.com carries them too…

Next up, a science nerd built a radio control car with a pan and tilt camera that wirelessly transmits to the base station. He used it to patrol a house to find the other science nerd, who was hiding under a bed. Wow. How exciting. Not exciting enough for me to go to Target and buy a pre-made car like this, though.

Oh, and when I say built, I'm not talking about an Adam Savage-like sequence where science nerds injure themselves welding or make clever jokes while scavenging parts. I mean they presented an item to the camera and claimed to have built it.

But the final Effin' straw for me came between segments, when they asked viewers what would kill you first in a vacuum: Cold, Radiation or explosive decompression? Their answer was explosive decompression. Yeah, maybe on Star Trek. Or Futurama.

What would actually kill you is your lungs rupturing- and this is assuming you jumped out the hatch, holding your breath. Human bodies WOULD NOT explode in a vacuum. Don't believe me?

The only redeeming thing that Effin' Science has going for it is that one of the nerds is Chad Zdenek, from G4′s Human Wrecking Balls. I don't like Chad, but seeing him reminds me of the awesomeness of Human Wrecking Balls. Good memories there.

My final spin on Effin Science?

Effin avoid it.