Category: Media
Al Gore wins Man of Two Years Award
Written by Chad Phillips
Friday, 16 May 2008 03:51
No Comments

Today I was reading an “article” in GQ which began like this:

“Al Gore makes us wish we had a Man of Two Years Award.”

GQ goes on to say that at the 2006 Men of the Year party Gore was “surrounded by the male species’ best and brightest—Leonardo DiCaprio, Magic Johnson, Jay-Z, Steve O from Jackass,” and that everyone from Will Ferrell to Lupe Fiasco couldn’t wait to shake [Gore’s] hand.

Yep, it’s true…this is what passes for manhood in the 21st century, a bunch of sniveling, artsy, fartsy, quasi-man cubs tripping over each other to rub elbows with Al Gore. (That was the verbose way around the barn to say they're liberals.) GQ calls them the best and the brightest? Steve O from Jackass? Leonardo DiCaprio?? And Magic what in blue blazes are you even doing there unless…Oh God, say it isn’t so…You don’t worship Al Gore too, do you? This is really too much.

In addition to all this, Gore (aka, the Sultan of Abrupt Climate Change) was introduced by the MC of the event as, “the real president of the United States.” You'll pardon me if I don't stand…unless it's to excuse myself to the water closet so I can throw up.

The mind reels that there could me more…but wait, GQ gave their hearty stamp of approval on Gore as a viable candidate for president (someday) writing, “…now everyone’s pushing him for president.” Uh…no, actually, everyone is NOT pushing him for president. That just proves how insular you guys are. When you say everyone, what you really mean is, all your associates. And since you don’t associate with conservatives because they are so obviously beneath you with their moral deficiency and all, you couldn’t possibly conceive that most people (at least the rational ones) certainly don’t want Gore to “run” again.

This explains why I don’t read GQ except when I’m really desperate—Like when I’m at the barbershop waiting for my youngest son to finish getting his hair cut and there’s nothing else to read.

Editor's Note: The group shot of Bigfoot, Mr. DiCaprio, and Mr. Gore is courtesy of MTW contributor T.R. Oglodad.

 
Will the media recover should Clinton get the nomination?
Written by Chad Phillips
Thursday, 15 May 2008 06:24
No Comments

You know, once in a while even the liberal propaganda machine gets it right. Like when the Washington Post published a story yesterday with the headline, Clinton Handily Defeats Obama in West Virginia.

And I say it’s about time at least one of the liberal rags gave Clinton the props she deserves. In all the major “news” outlets (now we just call them information sphincters), her victories in both Pennsylvania and Indiana were minimized with no headline at all or a head which clearly was slanted to make Clinton’s win a victory for Obama.

But then again, when it comes to hypocrisy the “Born Free” media establishment got the lion’s share. After all, when Clinton won Pennsylvania by double digits, MSNBC grudgingly called her victory in the eastern state a “win,” while most media outlets just ignored her. Okay, that’s not quite accurate. But they did make sure they reminded us often that her win in Pennsylvania didn’t change the dynamics of the race and that Obama is still the Golden Child liberal savior elite for their money.

Contrast that treatment with the media’s take on Obama’s win in North Carolina and the nearly synchronous win by Clinton in Indiana. One headline read, Obama wins big in North Carolina, nearly ties Clinton in Indiana. Nearly ties Clinton in Indiana??? Gee, I thought Clinton won that state guys. It wasn’t a near tie for Obama; it was a victory for Clinton. Another headline read, Clinton narrowly wins Indiana as Obama wins big in N. Carolina. Still another read, Clinton Squeaks Ind.; Obama Wins N.C. Big. In these last two cases the senior editors from each info outlet wanted to make sure that you didn’t miss out on an important fact…that Clinton’s win in Indiana was both narrow and by a squeaky thin margin, while Obama’s win was big, big, BIG! The big win was attributed to Obama’s double digit margin in N.C. Yet, when Clinton did the same thing in Pennsylvania, it’s just a “win” and a “So what? Who cares?” from the media.

All this “Clinton marginalizing” in the media is causing me to have wild fantasies of Clinton actually winning the nomination. Why? Well, if you’re a conservative, the reasons are both legion and obvious for giving Clinton preferential treatment over Obama. But I have other reasons besides ideology to root for Clinton. Since the media has done it’s best to marginalize her (so they can pimp Obama), they would be in a hell of a mess should she clinch the nomination. Were that to happen, the quasi-news outlets would have to scramble to undue the damage they’ve done to the Clinton campaign. And that would be quite entertaining. How would they react? Would they don gyroscopes and take up break dancing? Would they recover? I do hope the answer is no to the last question.

Of course, we all know it won’t happen. Clinton doesn't have a snow ball's chance in Hell of getting the nomination. It's Obama from here to the White House. The powers that be on the liberal side of the fence have spoken and they have washed their hands of Clinton. Still, you’ve got to admit…it’s a nice, happy thought. I can see the headlines now: Obama narrowly defeated for Dem nomination, almost ties Clinton.

 
The ‘screwples’ of Barbara Walters
Written by Troglodad
Wednesday, 14 May 2008 03:23
No Comments

Okay, clearly, Barbara Wawa has lost her mind.

I always have disliked Barbara (aka “Scarlet”) Walters, because of her haughty arrogance while interviewing people all the way through her obvious love for liberalism. But I never would have guessed how right I was about just how horrible a person she is.

Thank you, Barbara, for revealing to the world how despicable you are.

I’m speaking, of course, of Wawa’s recent book, in which she revealed multiple affairs she’s had with men over the years. Worse still, these married men were Republicans! Gasp! Not only did she spread her legs for other women’s husbands, but she didn’t even go for the donkey show! Maybe she wanted to be able to truthfully say "Republicans have been ‘screwing’ me for years!"

Ironic, considering the women she's derided for affairs over the years. Like Monica Lewinsky.

Funnier still is Wawa’s noted stance as a feminist. You know who feminists are, right? Those uptight broads who condemn women for sleeping their way to the top. Apparently, Wawa misunderstood the movement and stayed awake for all her debauchery.

And, while I don’t relish hearing about some 78 year old hag's sexual exploits, it does explain a lot. Like her pass at “Osama” when he appeared on her show in March of this year. Or why she’s so enamored with Osama bin Muslim. But, Wawa better keep her mitts off Osama. And not just because she's old enough to be his grandma. Personally, I think Mrs. Obama could take her in fight.

At this point, I don’t think that Wawa can go any lower. At least not until we see her hawking Cialis on commercials;

"Ciawis; it wucks wonders on youw caweeh. Buy some today fo youw boss. You won’t wegwet it."

Still, I've found the silver lining in all this mess: at least there are no pictures.

Editor's Note: The uncut version of this opinion can be accessed at troglodad.blogspot.com.