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THOR’S DAY RANT: Just Walk Away
Written by Troglodad
Thursday, 20 August 2009 14:50
3 Comments

I recently had an argument with a friend over my conduct on Xbox Live–the online video game service provided by Microsoft. He was angry that during an online game, I got pissed and switched my machine off.

Rather than go into the details of this incident, I'll just say my friends were not, in my opinion, displaying good sportsmanship, so I dropped out of the game. No different than walking off a ball court after a heated game.

Curiously, my friend didn't seem to think so. He used the comparison of an angry child stomping home with their ball. While it's true I'd love to be able to fit Microsoft's Xbox Live servers in my home, I think they actually take up more space than about one hundred houses the size of my own.

Upon reflecting on this argument, it occurred to me there are a lot of people against walking away. Road rage sure isn't walking away. An angry spouse isn't about walking away–although in my case, that's precisely what I do to avoid arguments.

No, it seems like there are a lot of you folks out there that would rather get the last word, arguing tooth and nail until they "win."  Allowing the other party to retreat just isn't in your playbook.

So I'd like to point a few things out to you last-worders.

First, you're all idiots.

I can prove it. Ever hear of a guy named "Ghandi"?

Ghandi didn't fight with anyone. He didn't argue. He just kind of sat there, passively resisting, without fighting. Not exactly walking away, but very similar.

Ghandi of course isn't the only person to advocate passivity. This really famous guy from Bethlehem was very big on not fighting. Perhaps you've heard of him? Jesus?

Somehow, I can't see Jesus playing basketball, getting madder and madder at the people he was playing with, but insisting on finishing the game. Maybe that's because he said "If your hand offends you, cut it off." Jesus wasn't trying to turn people into Captain Hook; his point was that you should go to some pretty extreme lengths to avoid conflict. Even if it meant changing your name to "stumpy."

Then there's that other bible verse about the meek inheriting the Earth. I'm glad the meek will inherit it; a bunch of arguing, last-worders would make for a really noisy place.

I think even Teddy Roosevelt was a fan of avoiding conflict. "Speak softly and carry a big stick." Surely that means, don't get angry and shout and yell, just talk quietly, but be prepared to protect yourself.

The point being, there is absolutely nothing wrong with walking away, especially when you're about ready to fly into a rage. Dr. David Bruce Banner sure tried to avoid getting there. Bill Bixby acted for what, five years, on a TV show preaching how letting your anger get the best of you was gamma-bad.

Then there's the trauma people put themselves through, when they do get all worked up, screaming and yelling. Ever heard someone remark on a quiet person walking away?: "He better be careful, he's going to have a heart attack avoiding conflict."

Never complain if someone walks away. It's better for them, and you.

I always try to walk away. Trust me, just like the Hulk, you wouldn't like me when I'm angry.

 
Hey, homosexuality is only natural
Written by Ron McClure Jr.
Monday, 10 August 2009 12:48
9 Comments

According to Barack Obama, the United States is not a Christian nation, yet we are a Muslim “country.” In fact, many on the left would tell you that our founding fathers wanted to keep religion out of our government completely. That, my friends, is a different discussion for different day. But, what if we discount Christian morality? What, then, do we use to gauge right and wrong? Many would say that we only have to turn to nature and observe what the animals do. Hence, right and wrong should be defined, not by what is moral, but what is natural.

Homosexuality is natural. Take a look at penguins, and you will quickly see that homosexual couples are perfectly normal. Some gay penguin couples even pretend that rocks are eggs. Isn’t that sweet? Yes, modern society frowns upon the act of homosexuality, but nature is nature. So, how then can one disagree with human homosexuality when it has been documented in nature? I guess, you can’t. One can only apologize for being so closed-minded. I feel stupid — well, ignorant to be honest. How could I have been so callous? How could I have joined in on the frowning by an uniformed society? Maybe it’s bigotry…or maybe, it’s just civility. So, let’s talk about nature.

Homosexuality is natural. Yes, and polygamy is natural, too. Did you know that, in many species, one male procreates with many females? Well, you should. That knowledge would help you to justify a lot of the problems in humanity. I mean, a man’s natural instinct is to spread his seed, so how can you credibly chastise him for that? Adultery? Polygamy? Well, they’re just natural.

Have you ever heard of competitive infanticide (look under poygany)? It’s not really a big deal, but where in some species, males will kill other younger males to perpetuate their own virility. You know, eliminate the competition, like in business. Every human male would naturally kill a young boy to stop him from copulating with females, right? So what about murder? Relax, it’s only natural.

Let’s talk about nature. I hate you. You threaten me. I will kill you. That’s natural, right? You can’t judge me for killing you, because it happens in nature in almost every species. See that young girl over there? I think I want to have sex with her. I’ll try to make it quick, because, I – am – starving! Is KFC still open? Hey, if you don’t like it, well, I’ll just kill you. No, no, and absolutely no! You cannot punish me, because who are you? My behavior is 100% natural. Check science, buddy.

Monkeys fling their own poop at each other. Of course, it’s just a natural occurrence. What human doesn’t throw poop at other people in the heat of an argument? Uh, well, the civilized ones. That’s who.

I am so sick and tired of listening to the silver-tongued devils on the left — feeding us poetic words of love and acceptance. If they want to use nature as justification, then they need to be prepared to justify a whole world of evil. They need to be ready to release every murderer, rapist, child molester and thief in prison today, because those “crimes” are not crimes at all.

You see, any level-headed liberal would inform you that these actions are, well, only natural.

 
HOW MICROSOFT RUINED MY FATHER’S DAY WEEKEND
Written by Troglodad
Sunday, 21 June 2009 03:01
1 Comment

I’m not a lucky guy. It’s a fact I have come to grudgingly accept. I like to console myself by thinking that statistically speaking, there have to be people like me, with a constant run of minor, annoying bad luck, just like there have to be people with constant good luck.

Take for example, my Xbox 360. No, really. Take it. I can’t use it anymore. It doesn’t work.

That has me quite mad.

I got my Xbox in March 2007. In 2006, I had lucked into a gig writing freelance articles for a local newspaper. Opinion pieces- like I do here. The best part was I was getting paid for these articles. And, being the good dad that I am, I thought that this extra money would be great to spend on my kids.

Seven articles later, the paper folded. Now for me, this wasn’t that big a deal. I had a regular day job. It could have been worse- I could have been one of those folks that lost their primary means of income. But my luck doesn’t work like that.

Anyways, I had $250 burning a hole in my pocket. And my oldest wanted an Xbox 360- having been sold by all Microsoft’s effective advertising. So, I decided what the heck, and spent my writing money, plus a little of my regular check and got us an Xbox.

It was great fun.

In fact, not only did my daughter enjoy playing her games, I soon became hooked myself. No more sitting at my PC, gaming in an uncomfortable posture, hunched over a desk. Nope, now I was able to recline in luxurious comfort on the couch. Better still, I discovered that with an Xbox I was able to virtually hang out with my friends, without having to leave home. XboxLive, Microsoft’s online gaming service, allows users miles apart to connect via headset and play games together.

In no time, several of my friends and I had formed a little group of gaming dads. We could stay up late, talking trash and enjoying games, but still be home to help change diapers, give baths or any of the other many duties required of dads.

Moreover, I found that gaming was a great stress relief from work. Have a bad day? Crank up the Xbox and play a nice First Person Shooter game. What could be more therapeutic than shooting digital terrorists, or rampaging e-zombies?

However, in the midst of all this electronic fun, I learned that Xbox has a little problem. The Red Ring of Death. This is the gamers’ term for a condition caused by a manufacturing defect rampant in about 1/3 of all Xboxes. A defect that causes your Xbox to overheat and not work anymore.

At first, I was fully expecting to get the RRoD. My luck is always getting me defective electronics when I purchase them. I am repeatedly having to take things back and get them replaced. Very annoying.

However, Microsoft, seeing their market drying up, offered an impressive 3 year extended warranty, free, for the RRoD. Xbox overheats (for the RRoD) just send it in a get it replaced, free of charge. They even mailed you a box and covered the shipping price. Awesome.

For several of my friends, who had purchases the first Xbox 360s out, this worked out really well. Their Xboxes died and they got newer, improved Xboxes. See, Microsoft is always improving the Xbox; adding more memory, putting in cooler-running chips, and even adding an HDMI output.

Once I learned that my pals were getting better Xboxes than they started with, I knew I would never get the RRoD.

And I was right. My Xbox has chugged along, used maybe 20 hours a week, for two and a half years. It’s become my primary hobby. My wife and kids get me games and even extra accessories- like a wireless controller- when shopping for gifts. And this was to be my third Father’s Day weekend, where all I wanted to do was kick back on the couch and enjoy some air conditioned video gaming. I even got a new game, solely for this weekend.

Then my Xbox died last night.

No, it wasn’t the RRoD. That would be too easy. Nope, the graphics chip(s) have died. I get sound, and a super-distorted picture. Something that isn’t covered by the extended warranty.

If I currently had an extra $99, I suppose I could send this sucker off and have it “repaired”; which really means I’d get a refurbished console that someone else sent in with a RRoD. Meaning my “new” console would crap out within a few months and I’d have to send it back. This vicious cycle of exchanging Xboxes can go on for months. One of my friends had to send his back four times before he got a winner.

Yeah, I could send my Xbox off, and wait 4 to 6 weeks for a refurbished return. But what about this weekend? What about my new game- my self-picked Father’s Day present?

Nope, no gaming for me. I get to look at all my games, neatly shelved with my DVDs, and my controllers and extra accessories. I get to listen to my kids pout that the Xbox is down. My friend’s kid suggested that I just go out and buy a new one. If only the world worked like that. At 12, he just doesn’t grasp budgets. We live by a budget. And we’ve been saving our money to buy a pool for the kids for this summer- a small one yes, but big enough that you have to save for it.

I suppose I could be selfish, and tell the kids they aren’t getting their pool. But that wouldn’t be me.

And really, why should I even be in this situation? You’d think that a device meant to be played for hours on end, that Microsoft claims has a “10 year life expectancy” would last longer than 2 ½ years.

I guess in the end, this has taught me a valuable lesson- never recommend ANY Microsoft product.