Posts Tagged ‘Entertainment’
IRON MAN 2
Written by Troglodad
Monday, 10 May 2010 12:49
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If you haven't seen Iron Man 2 yet, I'm here to tell you- you're missing an awesome flick.

To be fair, let me begin with revealing I'm an Iron Man fanboy from way back. I still have my comics from 1980s. Tony Stark wasn't my favorite hero, but I enjoyed the comics enough that when I thinned out the herd, Ironman was one of a few titles I couldn't bear to part with.

I loved the first Iron Man movie- despite the fact I generally despise origin movies, as they take away valuable ass-kicking time and replace it with talking, drama and the like as the reluctant hero comes to grips with their new powers. Still, Jon Favreau totally gets what a comic book is. Watching Iron Man was no different from reading a comic. Not too much yakkity yak, enough action to keep you watching. It was a brilliant movie. Except for Tony Stark's "sleepover" with a certain leggy, blond reporter. That was a bit much for my kids to see.

Iron Man 2 is way better. First off, no visualizations of adultery. Sure, there were Iron girls in skimpy outfits at the Stark Expo. Yes, the Black Widow changes her clothes in the back of car, revealing black (what else) bra. But no missing pants, no groping. Hopefully, I've shielded (pun intended) my kids enough that Tony Stark's little jokes were over their head and they see him more as a drunken philanthropist than degenerate philanderer.

So, dad-approved, kid-safe.

But how is the movie?

It's not shakespeare in a tin can. You aren't going to get long, Quentin Tarantino-esque dialogues. This isn't a movie about interpersonal relationships. It's a movie about guys in armored exoskeletons kicking ass. And it delivers!

Oh, sure, they could have squeezed in a bit more action. Hard Boiled (1992) shows that a movie can have almost nothing but action. But Iron Man 2 delivers so much iron-clad, repulsor-blasting ass whuppery no one should be disapointed.

Iron Man has more than one suit of armor. His lab is straight out of the comic book- complete with older armors hanging in the background. Happy finally gets to do some fighting, instead of standing quietly in the background like an Alfred Hitchcock cameo. But best of all, War Machine shows us what the Iron Man technology could really do in the right hands.

Seriously, anybody who likes the first Iron Man better must not like action movies. Or is a perve. Iron Man 2 is so incredible. I can't wait for Iron Man 3 to be in the can!

'Nuff Said!

 
THOR’S DAY RANT: DOUBLE DONE DIRTY
Written by Troglodad
Thursday, 15 April 2010 18:44
1 Comment

Recently, I was all excited about the meatariffic chicken sandwich KFC was offering: the Double Down.

Well, I finally got around to purchasing one, and I have to say it was a disappointing experience.

First off, the KFC we went to has some kind of eastern European-designed entry/exit lanes. I had to drive past, turn around, and try to enter a second time.

Then, when I placed my order, a zombie answered…

"Maaaaaaayyyy….. I…. take…. yorrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr…. orrrrrrr-derrrrrr."

This kid had apparently just broken up with his girlfriend, had his dog shot, wrecked his car and suddenly realized he was going nowhere in life past the prestigious duty of drive thru order-taker. Corpses have more enthusiasm.

So, I ordered anyway- specifically ordering TWO, that's TWO, also known as the sum of 1+1, half of FOUR, and the cube root of EIGHT, Double Downs, with no sauce. That's right, no sauce. Sauce is like perfume- you put it on food to hide it tastes like dirt. Like perfume covers up body odor.

Anyways, I get home, and- where's the second Double Down? It's not in the bag. My poor Double Down is all alone. No fellow sandwich to share the bag with. Single. Solo. Alone.

Checked my receipt- yep, I was charged $9.98 for TWO Double Downs. What the hell? I know a lot of kids these days working in fast food have no real aspirations to do anything, but DAMN. I thought they could at least count to TWO.

Well, no since fuming right that darned second- my food was getting cold. Time to open the little KFC box and- WHAT THE HELL? Were they playing volleyball with my Double Down? Did the cook vomit the pieces together? My Double down was thrown into the box with less care than a newspaper. The pepperjack cheese was everywhere except on the Double Down. Grrr.

Cheese abuse is a hangin' offense in my house…

Okay, so I sat down to eat. And it was downright terrible.

Now, I don't mean terrible like I wanted to hurl. I mean terrible like a huge let down. A Double Let Down. The Colonel's secret herbs and spices original recipe on two chicken breasts with almost-crunchy bacon. Whoop-dee-double-doo. All that hype for this?

So I called customer service- I want my $4.80 refund, byotches. I'll eat the other $4.80, and chalk it up as an experience. But dammit, I paid for food I didn't get, and that's a bunch of double doo-doo. Much like the Double Down.

Overall rating: Double Droppings Down for this "sandwich" from KFC. If the Colonel was still alive, he would be demoted to Sgt. for this. Lame. If I want a breadless sandwich, I'll go to Chick-Fila and remove the bun by hand.

And you should too.

 
THOR’S DAY RANT: Dress like a Ho, and You’ll Be Treated Like One!
Written by Troglodad
Thursday, 30 July 2009 10:43
5 Comments

I'm talking about "Booth Babes," of course.

Don't know what a Booth Babe is? Well, companies around the country like to have expositions and conventions to convince retailers and consumers to purchase their products. These events are like flea markets–vast rooms with row after row of product booths. And like a flea market, companies need a way to lure people over to their booths.

Booth babes seem to work really well.

A booth babe is an attractive girl, who stands in, or outside the booth, luring men in with their feminine wiles. In the video game and comic book industries, booth babes tend to be scantily dressed- showing more cleavage than Elvira, and wearing skirts too short to leave anything to the imagination. Sex sells.

This is a formula that works. Look up "booth babe" on the internet, and you'll see countless photos of hot chicks about to explode out of their tops, while red-faced young men clamor around. Guys like pretty girls. Guys really like near-naked, pretty girls. Everyone knows that.

Recently however, I happened across two really stupid instances of indignation at men ogling the booth babes.

The first was on the G4 (Gamer's) Channel. They had a special on their Booth Babes and their adventures at the San Diego Comic Convention (Comic books, not comedians). And I was surprised to hear the miniskirt-wearing models (some of whom were playmates) griping about guys standing around staring at them all day long, trying to take pictures up their skirts as they rode down escalators, and otherwise objectifying them.

The other, even more ignorant instance I happened across was a report of a Booth Babe protesting a video game's campaign, "Sin to Win." For this campaign, the game maker was soliciting convention-goers to get pictures of themselves with booth babes. The more wild, the better, and the winner would get a huge prize. One professed Booth Babe was aghast at this, and the article goes on to lament the objectifying of women.

What?!

Now, I don't want to sound like a rapist, who offers the "she was asking for it" defense, but when women show cleavage, is it for ventilation purposes? Or is it to show off their wares? I can see my wife getting mad at me for staring at some chick in butt-cheek-exposing short-shorts, and a top eight sizes to small, but should the girl wearing these enticing clothes have the right to complain I'm looking?

I'm not saying women should all walk around in burkas, but let's have a little common sense here, people! You put your boobs out there for the world to see, don't open your yap when they start looking.

In the case of booth babes, maybe someone ought to explain to these "Forrest Bumps" when they take the job, the whole point is to lure men in by showing some skin. The companies WANT prospective male clients to look.

Bottom line, if you don't want men looking down your shirt, button it up. If you don't want men staring at your rump, wear a longer skirt, or one that is loose and baggy, not spray-painted on.