Hollywood has got some balls.

I know, because myself, and my children, spent two hours looking at them.

I'm not speaking metaphorically here. I'm talking about actual testes, in robot form, proudly displayed and talked about throughout the entire Transformers sequel. A sequel billed and advertised — for example with Happy Meals and toys — as a kids' movie.

I really shouldn't be surprised. The first Transformers movie has a whole bit about the mom asking Shia Lebeouf's character if he was masturbating. I have to fast forward past that crap every time the kids want to watch the movie.

But, like in "Something About Mary" before it, "Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen", has raised (or maybe that's lowered) the bar.

There's the scene of a chihuahua humping on a bulldog — showing he's dominant, har-de-har-har.

There's the Decepticon that turns good and falls in love with Megan Fox's character — as exhibited by grabbing her leg and humping on it, complete with little servo-sounds and the full visual monstrosity of a bipedal, dog-sized robot going at it.

There's the Decepticon made from various construction equipment, including a crane. When one character is beneath the robot, trying to call in an airstrike, he looks up and sees two wrecking balls, dangling together, under the Decepticon's groin. "I'm right under the scrotum," he reports via radio.

There's the little appliance Decepticon whose groin sprouts a massive cannon he uses to wage war in the main character's kitchen — no doubt a tribute to Tom Savini's crotch-gun from "From Dusk til Dawn".

But wait, aside from the testicular fortitude the filmmakers had in all this groinal talk, they also managed to throw in even more terrible things. Like the ghetto-talking Twins — Autobots emulating TV rapper wannabes. One even has a gold tooth. I'm not black, but I was thoroughly offended by this jive crap.

Then there's the brownies the main character's mother buys when he goes off to college. They come in a bag with a pot leaf on the front — that she mistakes for some other plant. C'mon. Is there really ANYONE in the United States over 15 that doesn't know what a marijuana leaf looks like? That joke might have been funny in the 1980s, but I think our population is pretty well educated about drugs these days. And of course, once she eats the brownies, clueless mom then gets as high as Lindsay Lohan on a Friday night — going so far as to tackle some college student and take his frisbee.

And of course, my favorite cover-your-kids'-eyes moment: Shia Labeouf's character meets some hot chick in college who becomes very aggressive — straddling him like a stripper straight out of a Quentin Tarantino movie, while trying to talk seductively.

There are times when grown up situations are appropriate for movies. Bare breasts, for example, are expected in any slasher movie featuring teenagers being hunted by lone psycopaths. And I'd expect testicle jokes in any R Rated comedy — but Transformers?

Maybe the film was made for 13 year old boys. Maybe the marketing department missed that memo and pushed on with dreams of another Jurassic Park merchandising bonanza. But as a parent, I'd have liked a frickin' warning! I expected violence. And my kids know it's make believe. But the sex talk and balls-in-your-face humor is too much.

What will the next Transformer's movie have? A romance between a gay Autobot and Decepticon? Shia Labeouf's character graduating college and taking up a career in the porn industry?

Hollyweird needs to draw a line, build a brick wall on it, and not cross it. Keep the testicles in your pants, and off the screen, please.