Earlier today, I stumbled onto a reality show called, “Average Joe.” The basic premise revolves around a beauty queen who is trying to find her soul-mate, or “someone to help her perpetuate Planned Parenthood” (it’s hard to tell). I knew that these dating shows were shallow and immoral, but I was inclined to root for the average “Joe,” seeing as how I grew up as one and have been given the old heave-ho (no pun intended) for the “pretty boy” jerk more than once. I thought to myself, “maybe I was just too soft, and maybe an ordinary ‘Joe’ with more self-confidence can do what I never could, ‘beat out the jock.’” I quickly assumed some warped personal attachment to these underdogs, and reluctantly decided to watch.

The girl, who I’ll call “Amber,” was very attractive and ironically seemed very sweet. She poured compliments on the “Average Joe” contestants, and I thought to myself, “maybe I’ve just had bad experiences.” Maybe, just maybe, a girl can be physically attractive and also adhere to the, “it’s the personality that counts,” rhetoric spewed by many women…maybe, I had just been jilted one too many times, and had grown callous from all of the wounds.

Anyway, the show later introduced some new contestants, however these guys were the type of “pretty boys” I spoke of earlier (this show referred to them as “jocks”). As they sashayed into the room, Amber was reduced to a bowl of jelly, and she smiled from ear to ear as saliva dripped from her chin. She never considered the average “Joe’s” again…she was captivated. When the producers instructed Amber to choose a date for the night, she didn’t hesitate for a second. “Rocky!” she exclaimed (that’s what this jock called himself). Rocky? You’re kidding, right? Apparently, he had successfully marketed himself (and his chiseled body); because, in a brief moment, Amber had been beguiled like a 9 month-old playing with a set of keys, while being serenaded with a recitation of “this little piggy went to the market.” When interviewed, she claimed that she had “felt some connection” the moment they made eye contact.

Really? We of the “male” persuasion tend to experience that from time to time, too! It’s commonly referred to as, lust! Don’t get me wrong, I don’t mean to marginalize the negative effects of lust, because after all, why do women call men pigs? Because, men ARE lusting machines. Most women CLAIM to be “above that,” and when they lust, they write it off as “chemistry” or “connection.” Certainly, most women are above this primal curse (I hope), but what kind of message does this crap send to young men and women? To a young man it says, “if you work out, talk smooth and ‘act mysterious’…you will nail virtually every chick, nearly every time.” To young women it blazons, “plaster the word ‘juicy’ across your @$$, and men will love you,” when in reality, men just like “connecting” with your caboose.

How do young people stand a chance of finding happiness in today’s society when TV says, “if you pretend to be something you’re not…you’ll score”?

Continuing onward, some interesting developments arose on the show when the Joe’s and jocks were sent on a “guys’ night out” to a local bar that was “supposed” to be away from the cameras. Of course, the show’s producers made sure cameras were rolling and even took the liberty of sending in several attractive women to “flirt” with (more like seduce) the guys. Long story short, one of the guys kissed “another woman.” When Amber confronted the contestant’s infidelity, her chin quivered as the tears rolled down her sweet little, “innocent” face. She was devastated. I mean, how could he have kissed another girl? Never mind that in the past few weeks Amber herself had her tongue down the throats of no less than a half dozen different blokes.

That wasn’t the end of it, however. Like in a good ol’ monkey melee, handfuls of crap were hurled at this guy. She had indubitably been forsaken by this modern-day Judas, and he obviously didn’t care about her if he could… would… “BETRAY HER LIKE THAT!!”

Amber, along with the producers of Average Joe would have you believe that she was victimized by this guy. It matters little that he kissed one girl, ONE, and he had to be entrapped in order for that to happen. He’s just a two-timing whore of a man; a deceitful libertine that has not one decent bone in his body; a pig whose thought processes don’t rise above his basest desires. Meanwhile, sweet little Amber has EVERY right to “sample” a buffet of men. And she can do it with a clear conscience, because after all, “she’s confused and having a hard time deciding whom to choose” (poor, poor woman). It’s all very sad.

Almost every man has a story about being “the nice guy” (because that’s what women say that they want). But these stories usually end with our hero’s heart ripped from his blood soaked thorax and haughtily cast to the ground. The real she-devils are sure to give it a good stomp to eradicate any residual capacity to trust.

It’s no wonder some men are the way they are. It only takes a couple of times to get kicked in the teeth, before you start wearing a face-mask. What idiot would keep serving up his chin to his opponent, knowing the deadly uppercut is lurking behind that pretty smile and floral scent? Guard your faces fellas, because this world is messed up!